Hurry Up and Slow Down!

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rushingWho isn’t in a hurry, trying to cross off impossibly long To Do Lists? The other day I was struggling with the feeling of anxiety, running from the post office to the supermarket and pharmacy, home to make dinner, check my emails, finish an editing job. Oh yes! And if I have time, clean the bathroom and kitchen floor. It would also be nice if I could do two loads of laundry …call my mother, a friend, and wash my hair.

Finally I grabbed a hold of myself. This wasn’t easy, as I felt myself rushing past me to move onto the next task! Whoa! Hold on! Why do you feel so anxious? These things will get done in time. Now take your time. With some effort, I was able to pull myself back into what I was actually doing, standing in line at the post office, waiting to send off Christmas gifts back home. Come on, I said to myself. You are now at the post office about to accomplish one of the tasks on your list. You are doing the best you can. Take time to be in line. Then you can move onto the next task. But for now, this is what you are doing, so just breath, relax and enjoy it!

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Listen with the Ear of Your Heart

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Ear of the HeartListen carefully. Obsculta is the first word of guidance written by St. Benedict, the 6th century mystic and Father of western monasticism. His Rules for Monks is still used today to direct the lives in Benedictine communities. St. Benedict immediately qualifies what kind of listening they, and we, need to do. Obsculta inclina aurem cordis tui – “Listen by inclining the ear of your heart.” What could he possibly mean? Our hearts have ears? If that is true, then how do they work?

St. Benedict’s poetic language is asking us to listen, not just with our ears, but with our hearts to all that comes our way. While we might hear the words with our actual ears, with our hearts we can deeply reflect, discern, and take action if necessary.

When we are an embryo, the sound perceiving mechanism of the ear is the first organ we develop. During the same time, our heart also starts to develop (5 weeks after conception). Imagine! At 18 weeks in the womb, one of our first sensations of life is the inner sound of our own and our mother’s heartbeat. Studies have shown that a baby will become agitated if its mother’s heartbeat beats faster than normal, suggesting its mother is under stress. We also begin life listening to the rise and fall of our mother’s breath, our parents’ muffled voices, the world outside.

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Starve Your Fear!

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Artwork by Mary Beth Volpini at drawntocolor.com.

Artwork by Mary Beth Volpini at drawntocolor.com

Let’s talk about fear. Inner fear. How elusive and arbitrary it can be. We sometimes struggle with fear over the simplest things – talking to our boss, having a routine visit to the doctor’s, or taking an exam. We might be fearful for our health, bank accounts, jobs, or kids. Of course, we can feel legitimate fear, but usually what we fear is not based on our outer reality but rather coming from within ourselves. Assagioli calls this fear a widely diffused psychological poison.

In order to deal with fear effectively, Assagioli urges us to eliminate or minimalize the fear within ourselves. He also warns us of a vicious circle that can occur – the fear within us can open the door to the influence of external fear, and external fear feeds the inner one.

To break this vicious circle, we need to use our skillful will to withdraw our attention deliberately from the psychological poison of fear. The energy that is holding and nurturing the fear will then be released. We can then redirect this new-found energy to do the most good in our lives.

Last year, Susan came to see me because she wasn’t able to become pregnant. She and her husband were both 30 years old and had been trying for one year without success. Susan had a doctorate in biochemistry and knew exactly all the ways the body functioned – and didn’t function. After two of her friends had died of cancer, she was terrified of the disease. She had spent hours visiting various doctors asking for multiple aggressive and invasive tests just to ensure herself that she did not have cancer.

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