Tag Archives: psychology

Soul Harvest – Part 3

This year's harvest from the author's garden in Germany.

This year’s harvest from the author’s garden in Germany.

With gardening always comes the harvest — a communion with our Earth, the holy connection between us and the planet. What better way to participate in this than by eating a cherry tomato or snap pea that we have grown in relationship with the Earth? This replenishment of our bodies with what the Earth offers us through our own labor aided by nature’s gifts of sun and rain creates a circular relationship of spiritual unity. Perhaps this is the true meaning of Eucharist, which comes from the Greek for gratitude. By receiving the garden’s bounty into our bodies, we gain the strength, energy, and respect to continue our lives in tandem with it.

Signora Giuseppa enjoys the fruits of her labor - homemade foccacia baked in the wood-burning oven.

Signora Giuseppa enjoys the fruits of her labor – homemade foccacia baked in the wood-burning oven.

One August, when most Italians flee their homes for holidays in the countryside or al mare, Giuseppa was faithfully tending her rows of tomato plants. I passed by one cloudy afternoon to find her worried over the possibility of rain. “If it rains, Caterì, it will ruin all the ripe tomatoes.” She and her extended family spend two days peeling and canning these tomatoes for the winter months. I offered to help her pick them without realizing what I was actually getting into. She accepted my offer, grabbed some crates, and bounded out into the field, calling for me to follow with the wheelbarrow. We spent nearly four hours picking tomatoes that afternoon with her chatting the entire time.

“We used to work for a patrone,” she told me. “Half of what we harvested went to the landowner. One hot summer day, I carried a heavy basket of tomatoes the long road up to the landowner’s house. I used to carry everything on my head in those days, but the wet wash from the lavanderia was always the worst, especially in winter.

“I arrived in the midday heat with those tomatoes. I had been working all morning in the fields and hadn’t eaten a thing. It was a thirty-minute walk straight uphill. The sweat was pouring down me. Do you think that Signora offered me a glass of water or a shady place to rest for a moment?”

We hauled the crates onto the wheelbarrow. “Wait, Caterì, let me help you. These crates are too heavy.” She worked like a twenty-year-old and didn’t seem to tire. Visibly rejoicing in the summer harvest, she became more animated and energized as the number of crates of tomatoes grew and grew. Meanwhile, my back was killing me even as I marveled over the variety and seemingly endless number of tomatoes that lay hidden inside the masses of vines.

As we returned to the fields, Giuseppa lingered for a moment next to the tiny clusters of unripe grapes. “Do you remember last year?” my professoressa quizzed me. “The grapes were ruined with disease. This year the plants are green and lush with fruit. It will be a good year for wine.”

She brushed one hand tenderly over the grapes. “Every year has its own season. Just like our lives. One year there is fruit, another only ruin.”

“But at least here in the campo,” Giuseppa laughed, “there’s always something to eat.”

Note: This story was written while the author was still living in Italy in 2007. It is the last of a three part series.

Go to Soul Harvest – Part 1

Go to Soul Harvest – Part 2

Become a Peacemaker of Your Own Heart

Some are saying that this summer is the bloodiest in history. Brutality and war seems to be flaring up all around us. What is wrong with the world today? I have one answer that is certain and simple: Catherine Ann Lombard.

BKS Iyengar, photographed in Karnataka, India, in 2005

BKS Iyengar

Yes, that’s right. Me. I am partly responsible for what is wrong in the world today. Mr. Iyengar, the yoga master whose practice I have followed since 1988, died last week at the age of 95. More than any other practitioner, Mr. Iyengar was responsible for the spread of interest in yoga in the west over the last half-century. He always insisted that yoga is a spiritual discipline, describing it a “the quest of the soul for the spark of divinity within us.” As to its wider benefits, he maintained:

“Before peace between the nations, we have to find peace inside that small nation which is our own being.”

The small nation of my being is usually managing okay. Love still maintains the strongest foothold. But there are times when a violent war seems to have overtaken my consciousness. I fight to be nice to someone I envy. I struggle not to be lazy. I blame another for my personal failings or frustrations. On the outside, I look sweet and understanding all the while brutal battles are being fought inside my soul. The only way I can conquer these warring factions is to go deeper and honestly sink myself into the true origins of my anger, sadness, abandonment, and fear. And then to joyfully accept, allow, and attempt to act in a new and creative way whenever that particular war begins.

Not easy. Not easy at all. That’s what’s wrong with the world today. We are all looking for the easy way to end our wars. More than anytime in history, many of us have access, time and money to pursue the many distractions that keep us from making peace – both inner and outer. Where’s the app to take care of my inner battles that leave me feeling depressed? Where’s the exotic holiday? What’s the latest fashion craze? What can I eat, drink, pop, inject, smoke, snort? Who can I abuse mentally, physically emotionally? Who (and even what God) can I use for my own self interest?

Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou is another great soul who recently died at the age of 86. A brilliant American poet, writer, actress, dancer, and singer, she said:

We need the courage to be bodacious enough to create ourselves daily– as Christians, as Jews, as Muslims, as thinking, caring, laughing, loving human beings. I think that the courage to confront evil and turn it by dint of will into something applicable to the development of our evolution, individually and collectively, is exciting, honourable.

I am now thinking of Clare, one of my former clients (not her real name). During an amazingly beautiful session together, Clare related how, for the first time, she became aware of the inner war inside her during an innocuous conversation with her boyfriend. They had been discussing where to live together when he started to talk about how much he would like to be in Amsterdam. Amsterdam wasn’t really the best choice for Clare, and suddenly she felt overwhelmed with feelings of rejection and never being good enough.

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New (In)Sights

Looking Beyond the Mirror Image

Looking Beyond the Mirror Image

 

During the last month I have had cataract surgery on both eyes. Nearsighted since I was 9-years-old, receiving clear vision after wearing glasses for 50 years is nothing short of a miracle. Surveying my garden after the operation, the blues of the cornflowers and borage blossoms seemed to jump out at me. Since then many natural images that would once have escaped me are appearing. A delicate winged dragonfly fluttering on top of the lavender. The rhythmic dance of the poppy petals in a soft morning breeze. Sad eyes on the face of the full moon.

 

However, my bathroom mirror is much more difficult to look at now! How eluded I have been! Suddenly I see wrinkles around my mouth, blotches on my cheeks, all the gray hair on my head, cellulite everywhere but… can it be…on my calves?! The list goes on! How did this happen overnight?

Acceptance seems key here. Of old age. Like 60 which is coming up fast for me. Three years ago I jokingly complained that in all the photos taken of me, an old lady seemed to be there, following me about like a faithful dog. (That old lady, of course, was me!) But I also realize that there are at least two advantages to getting older.

  1. I can now tell beautiful men that they are gorgeous without worrying about the consequences. That was not the case when I was younger.
  2. I now seem to be able to touch people more freely. I can lightly brush their cheek, pat their shoulder, even take their hand or hug them. I am more free to physically express my affection, heartache, and compassion. As a young woman, such physicality was impossible as it could easily be misunderstood as erotic, provocative, or unseemly. Now it’s just viewed as an affectionate gesture from a nice old lady.

So, take heart. There are advantages to growing old that you may not have seen yet. I recently edited a marketing piece about branding that included an example from a producer of beauty products. About 10 years ago, the CEO and his staff decided that their strategy would be to convince American women that they were ugly and growing old. That was the intended goal of the multimillion dollar company. To make you feel old and ugly. And they have had lots of money and expertise to achieve this end. Don’t let them win.

Facial CreamBeauty, as they say, is only skin deep. I have tried to look away from the bathroom mirror into one that might reflect my soul. This view can also be bit disconcerting, but I do see some progress and success. I am happier. I am quieter. I am hugging more people. I am more myself.

The recently deceased Lauren Bacall is quoted as saying, “I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that.” I always like to say, “I once was young and beautiful. Now I’m just……beautiful!”  In psychosynthesis terms, I am trying to dis-identify from my body, knowing that it is temporal and constantly changing. I am so much more than just my body. I am pure consciousness and will. And that is something that doesn’t come in a jar of face cream. Consciousness and will is the human expression of God to which we all are born.