Category Archives: Other

The Joy of Suffering

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This past week I have received a number of emails from friends as far away as Portland in the USA and Legos in Nigeria. Since they know my husband is Dutch and we live on the German-Dutch border, many are writing to ask if we and our family members are okay after the recent Malaysian airline crash in the Ukraine. (Yes, we are.) On top of this terrible tragedy are the wars raging in Gaza, Iraq, and Syria to occupy us and the news media.

Yesterday I met Simi for the first time. She is a 7-month old solid soul who has nothing but gurgling smiles for the world. Her mother between bites of ice cream became quietly despondent. “Hasn’t the news been terrible lately?” she asked.

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Yes, the news has been terrible. The news is always terrible. That’s what news is. Terrible. It is either full of suffering or full of rich, happy, famous people. Sometimes it is full of rich, unhappy, famous people suffering. But usually it consists of poor, unhappy, non-famous people suffering.

If the news is making you feel sad, then there is probably something you need to feel sad about in your own life. A man I met recently said that he had been so sad about the plane crash that he left work early. He didn’t know anyone on the plane, but after talking about himself for a while, I began to realize that he was mostly sad for himself. Doing the same job for 18 years, he dreamed of moving to Italy and starting his own export business. He soon admitted that he was too lazy and complacent to change his life. His sadness seemed to be more about how his life was like a plane about to crash with no escape hatch.

I call this “the comfort of familiar suffering.” So often we are afraid to change our life because we fear what suffering might come to us as a result. Better to stay where we are. At least we know what the suffering we are enduring now feels like! We know how to talk about it for hours and soothe ourselves with fantasy and addictions. Everything is in place and under control to help us feel comfortable in our suffering!

Assagioli's notes on joy from his archives.

Assagioli’s notes on joy from his archives.
Joy as a Duty:
The duty to be joyous
in every circumstance
and condition.

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Tuning into Transpersonal Will

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Besides strong, skillful and good, another aspect of the will that Assagioli writes about is the transpersonal will, which touches on the spiritual dimension of the human being. Many people can lead a rich and useful life without this aspect of will. But others, who have had a direct experience of a transcendent reality, will recognize the transpersonal will operating in their lives. Their goal will be to use the other aspects of will—strong, skillful, and good—to tune into the transpersonal will, come into relationship with it, and use it to act in the world as well.

Transpersonal Will Activates Personal Meaning

We may find ourselves longing to tune into the transpersonal will when we feel a need to understand the meaning of our life. We might feel as if our life—despite our worldly success in work, family, and on a personal level—lacks meaning or value. Or we might be facing a sudden, unexpected crisis, like a death in the family or loss of job, that calls up this need.

The Three Stone Cutters

Stone-Cutter

There is a medieval story about three stone cutters who were cutting granite for a new cathedral. When asked in turn, “What are you doing?” the first replied in an angry tone, “As you can see for yourself, I’m cutting stones.” The second answered, “I am earning a living for me and my family.” And the third said joyously, “I am building a great cathedral.” All were doing the exact same thing, but the first felt a sense of futility, the second a personal purpose in his work, and the third recognized a greater meaning and connection with a greater whole.

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Good Will Towards All

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We are familiar with the idea of peace in the world—there peace movements and marches, demands for “Peace not war,” and a Nobel prize for peace. But what do we mean exactly when we say “good will”? Roberto Assagioli, describes good will as one of the four aspects of will, the others being strong, skillful, and transpersonal (cosmic or God’s will). We all have these aspects of will, in various degrees. How might we develop and strengthen our “good will?”

Difference between Good Will and Love

Good will is the vital energy needed in all of our diverse relationships and it is close to the concept of love. We think of love mostly as an innate spontaneous experience, yet compassion towards all creation can also be developed through willful choice. When we attempt to replace competition with cooperation, conflict with dialogue, and consider the welfare of others then we are engaging our good will.

1000-arms Avalokitesvara-kwan-yin Buddha Statue

1000-arms Avalokitesvara-kwan-yin Buddha Statue

In order to activate our good will, our task is to develop love and will in balance and strength. Compassion is not true compassion unless it is active, a definite synthesis of love and will. In fact, the Buddha of Compassion in Tibet is depicted as having a thousand eyes that see the pain in all corners of the universe, and a thousand arms to reach out and extend help to all those who are suffering. To be compassionate isn’t enough; we need acts of compassion.

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